My Bloody Valentine

My Bloody Valentine...1981...90 minutes...rated R...starring Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck, and Keith Knight...written by Stephen A. Miller and John Beaird...directed by George Mihalka

Valentine Bluffs, up in Nova Scotia, has a bit of a history. Twenty years ago, there was a Valentine's Day party going on while 7 men were still down in the mines that are the town industry. 2 of them were supervisors, both eager to get to the party. Forgetting to check the methane levels, the supervisors left...and an explosion sealed the other men in. Only one survived: Harry Warden. Harry was never quite the same again, and went on a murder spree the next year, serving up the hearts of the two supervisors and vowing to kill again if anyone ever celebrated Valentine's Day again. Of course, there couldn't be any danger in holding a party 20 years after that horrible day, could there?

Here's a hacker film from the golden age of slashers, and while it has all the horrible cliches and pitfalls of a film made in this period, there are some moments of gold both in sheer grisliness and in humor that make this one worth a rewatching. That's not me saying that the movie is -good-, per se... but it's enjoyable if you know what you're getting into. Admittedly, there's something fetishy-freaky about a killer who runs around in a gas mask, and the opening murder sequence (beautiful girl about to make time with a guy who doesn't want to take his mask off deep in the mines) sets the tone of the hour and half to follow.

Without spoiling the movie too much more for the five people who may have missed this the first time around, the movie's lead is one of the few people outside of Fred from the Scooby-Doo cartoons who is working the whole scarf/ascot/whattheheckever look. There's a few false scares, a few wonderful monologues by crazy town elders, a system of mental health care that is positively criminal in its record-keeping, and lots of gore that was shocking in its day but nothing that would make a modern "Saw" audience flinch...too much.Let's not forget a minecar fight sequence that has to be seen to be believed. *dry sarcasm* With luck, I'll get to see the 2009 version and compare the differences.

Personally, the threat of a serial killer spree would be enough for me to completely cancel Valentine's Day...but then I was never a big fan.  2.5 pickaxes out of 5.