The Devil's Tomb

The Devil's Tomb...2009...90 minutes...rated R...starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Ron Perlman, Valerie Cruz, and Henry Rollins...written by Keith Kjornes...directed by Jason Connery.

So, we have a crack mercenary team sent into an underground lab that's located somewhere in the Middle East. Their mission is to extract a scientist who's been working on something and who hasn't reported in for some time. Of course, said team is rife with personal issues...it's a good thing there isn't an evil presence deep within the base that can delve into their hearts and minds and eventually take them over by entering through their weak points. Oh, wait, there is? Oops. And why is there a priest in this lab? What possible link to religion could the hidden secret have? Do we really care?

My answer to the last question was "Well, maybe at the start of the movie." Still, while this selection has a surprising cast of people you'll recognize from other shows and movies, it's not exactly exciting material. Mostly Cuba looks dour and serious as things follow the inevitable progression from tough to bad to worse, but of course the mission must go on, no matter what oddness occurs. Eventually I'm going to see one of these movies where a group will encounter some preternatural hazard and say "Not in my contract, we are out of here." It'll be a short but refreshing watch.

I understand the whole idea of the movie was watching these people being placed on the breaking point, but I didn't feel invested enough into this team to really care what nastiness was being done to them. The core idea of the secret wasn't bad, but I'm not sure it was handled rightly to get the full effect out of it. And seriously, if you're going to have Zack Ward in a horror movie, why do you miss the chance to give him glowing yellow eyes? (I swear to God, he should have had yellow eyes...and if you don't get this joke, look at imdb.com and be enlightened.) It's always enjoyable to watch Ron Perlman, but given what he had to work with, there's only so much the man could do.

Not good enough to be good but not bad enough to be good, either. Bleh. I give this movie 2 crazy preachers out of 5.