SIlent Hill: Revelation 3D...2012...94 minutes...rated R...starring Adelaide Clemens, Kit Harrington, Sean Bean, and Carrie Anne-Moss...written and directed by Michael J. Bassett
At the end of the first Silent Hill movie, we're left with a rather odd ending: Rose and Alessa/Sharon have returned back to their home after their fun romp through the strangeness that is the literal ghost town of Silent Hill...or at least their home in the alternate "fog" dimension while the father is stressed out and waiting in our world. Did you ever wonder what happened from there? This sequel follows Alessa, now called Heather Morris, and her return back to the town that gave birth to her.
Mind you, I say that it follows her further journey, as well as her father's. What I *don't* say is that it answers any real questions, but instead brings up bunches of new ones. Fans of the older movie will notice a lot of attempts to make this new offering follow the events of the original, but it only does so in a "sort-of kinda maybe if I squint at it" fashion. Fans of the game series will recognize that the majority of the plot is drawn from the 3rd game in the series.
The problem with this movie is that it doesn't go far enough in either direction...or in any direction. The start of the movie has a wonderfully creepy dream sequence that promises much, and up to a certain point Revelation looks like it's going to be a grisly gem. Sure, there's a big plot hole that has yet to be explained re: how Heather returns to the real world, but surely the movie will explain the method better...or at least the key object better, right? Wrong. In fact, the movie wanders after a certain point, and while there are some interesting scenes that crop up, most of the ghoulies of Silent Hill haven't changed...with one notable exception...and I personally wasn't scared so much as going "Wait...what?" by the end.
The ending itself seemed awfully light compared to the start of the film, and while this is a spoiler, I'll say that the ending of Silent Hill 3 went much darker and creepier than the end of this movie. I believe that to have been a terrible mistake in writing. I really could have used more explanation about many things as well, and I also have this personal complaint: if you get Malcolm McDowell and Carrie Anne-Moss in your movie, dear Gods, use these people! I could have used more of them and less of what I got.
The one complaint I didn't have was in the 3D aspect; it was decently used...and I kept waiting to see myself covered in ash flakes during certain scenes of the movie.
Overall, I'm a big fan of the Silent Hill games as well as of horror movies (obviously) and I was doubly disappointed with this movie. I seriously thought it could have been so much more...and the start of it promised more than the ending delivered. I can't say it was bad...instead it ended up as the worst thing a horror film can be: bland.
My rating: 2.5 carousel "horses" out of 5
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Sinister
Sinister...2012...110 minutes...rated R...starring Ethan Hawke, Vincent D'onofrio, Juliet Ryalnce, and James Ransone...written by C. Robert Cargill and Scott Derrickson...directed by Scott Derrickson
Ellison is a "true crime" writer who has just moved his family into their new home. Ellison has lots of bills piling up, and is understandably concerned about the state of finances. Ellison really needs to write a best selling novel. And Ellison is about to find some research material that will give him more than he or his family ever expected.
Since this movie hasn't even been released yet, I'm going to do my best to be even more conscious about spoiling things. So I will be talking about things in general, and the best way I can sum up this movie is by using my homemade spaghetti as a metaphor. Follow along with me if you can. Really, it won't be that hard.
For our meals, I occasionally do spaghetti. It's a simple meal that my skills can handle, and even do well at making. Every time I do spaghetti, I generally follow one particular recipe that has served quite well. Some days, I hit it right...and we have a tasty meal. Some days, I do everything like I should...but it's just not as good. Maybe it's a tad overdone, or a tad undercooked, or maybe it's something in the air. I'm not exactly sure where things went wrong, but it just wasn't the right combination.
Now, all reviews are at some level subjective writings...so for me, Sinister was my spaghetti on an off night. There's lots of good stuff in this movie...decent writing with some snappy dialogue, great use in creating a suspenseful and creepy mood, and for me the right ratio of on-screen to off-screen violence. The actors are good, if perhaps not inspired, and the pacing keeps up. And yet.
Maybe it was a tad too predictable for me. Maybe there were a couple of cheap thrills too many for my liking. I've got no problem in saying that maybe it's because I'm a picky bastard, and it just didn't hit me right. I'm not saying the movie is bad...it certainly is not. I'm not saying you shouldn't see it...I'd put it at matinee level myself, but again that's me. I -am- saying that I didn't walk out of the movie going "Whoa, man, I'm not sleeping for a week!" Make of this rambling what you will.
My rating: 3.5 "extended endings" out of 5.
Ellison is a "true crime" writer who has just moved his family into their new home. Ellison has lots of bills piling up, and is understandably concerned about the state of finances. Ellison really needs to write a best selling novel. And Ellison is about to find some research material that will give him more than he or his family ever expected.
Since this movie hasn't even been released yet, I'm going to do my best to be even more conscious about spoiling things. So I will be talking about things in general, and the best way I can sum up this movie is by using my homemade spaghetti as a metaphor. Follow along with me if you can. Really, it won't be that hard.
For our meals, I occasionally do spaghetti. It's a simple meal that my skills can handle, and even do well at making. Every time I do spaghetti, I generally follow one particular recipe that has served quite well. Some days, I hit it right...and we have a tasty meal. Some days, I do everything like I should...but it's just not as good. Maybe it's a tad overdone, or a tad undercooked, or maybe it's something in the air. I'm not exactly sure where things went wrong, but it just wasn't the right combination.
Now, all reviews are at some level subjective writings...so for me, Sinister was my spaghetti on an off night. There's lots of good stuff in this movie...decent writing with some snappy dialogue, great use in creating a suspenseful and creepy mood, and for me the right ratio of on-screen to off-screen violence. The actors are good, if perhaps not inspired, and the pacing keeps up. And yet.
Maybe it was a tad too predictable for me. Maybe there were a couple of cheap thrills too many for my liking. I've got no problem in saying that maybe it's because I'm a picky bastard, and it just didn't hit me right. I'm not saying the movie is bad...it certainly is not. I'm not saying you shouldn't see it...I'd put it at matinee level myself, but again that's me. I -am- saying that I didn't walk out of the movie going "Whoa, man, I'm not sleeping for a week!" Make of this rambling what you will.
My rating: 3.5 "extended endings" out of 5.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Insidious
Insidious...2010...103 minutes...PG-13...starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, and Ty Simpkins...written by Leigh Whanell...directed by James Wan
The Lambert family has just moved into their house, and are settling in when they start noticing things. Objects moving by themselves, doors opening, the occasional strange sound: these are the activities that plague the young family. That is, until little Dalton goes to explore the attic and takes a tumble...subsequently falling into a mysterious coma. The activities step up quite a bit, and like any sensible family finding themselves bedeviled by supernatural events, our protagonists get the frak out of Dodge. But like the tag line says, it's not the house that's haunted.
Okay, I found this movie to be a refreshing change of pace from a lot of the stuff that's out there these days. If you're looking for a gorefest, or something with lots of gooshiness (yes, that's a word...or at least it is now), you will not be satisfied with Insidious. On the other hand, if you're looking for something high on suspense and low on blood, this movie is just the ticket. I made the mistake of watching this film at night, and the DVD extras that I watched to ramp down the adrenaline were the only things that let me get some sleep that night.
The ending...well, I won't lie...the ending gets a little weird and a touch predictable. I found the overall ride to be well worth my time and money, though. I love James Wan for the simple fact that all the "jumps" in the movie are genuine...no black cats jump out from hidden nooks to make you start. In fact, some of the moments actually caught me off guard, and I'm pretty good at gauging where they'll be and how they'll work. I also loved his take on the seance...it was strange but the look of it kept up the mood he'd been trying to build.
Seriously, see this movie. It may not be perfect but it's damn good, and in this genre I'll take damn good any day of the week.
My rating: 4.5 modified Viewmasters out of 5
The Lambert family has just moved into their house, and are settling in when they start noticing things. Objects moving by themselves, doors opening, the occasional strange sound: these are the activities that plague the young family. That is, until little Dalton goes to explore the attic and takes a tumble...subsequently falling into a mysterious coma. The activities step up quite a bit, and like any sensible family finding themselves bedeviled by supernatural events, our protagonists get the frak out of Dodge. But like the tag line says, it's not the house that's haunted.
Okay, I found this movie to be a refreshing change of pace from a lot of the stuff that's out there these days. If you're looking for a gorefest, or something with lots of gooshiness (yes, that's a word...or at least it is now), you will not be satisfied with Insidious. On the other hand, if you're looking for something high on suspense and low on blood, this movie is just the ticket. I made the mistake of watching this film at night, and the DVD extras that I watched to ramp down the adrenaline were the only things that let me get some sleep that night.
The ending...well, I won't lie...the ending gets a little weird and a touch predictable. I found the overall ride to be well worth my time and money, though. I love James Wan for the simple fact that all the "jumps" in the movie are genuine...no black cats jump out from hidden nooks to make you start. In fact, some of the moments actually caught me off guard, and I'm pretty good at gauging where they'll be and how they'll work. I also loved his take on the seance...it was strange but the look of it kept up the mood he'd been trying to build.
Seriously, see this movie. It may not be perfect but it's damn good, and in this genre I'll take damn good any day of the week.
My rating: 4.5 modified Viewmasters out of 5
Over a year...bad blogger.
Dear lord, where did the time go? My last post was over a year ago. Bad horror blogger, no zombie biscuit.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
The Devil's Rejects
The Devil's Rejects...2005...107 minutes...unrated...starring Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon Zombie, and William Forsythe...written and directed by Rob Zombie
Wonder what ever happened to the Firefly clan, that group of strange and sadistic psychopaths from "House of 1000 Corpses"? Well, if you do, this is the movie that will tell you. If you're expecting the over-the-top strangeness of the first movie, you're not going to find it here. Don't get me wrong, this movie has its own brand of viciousness and odd humor mixed in, but the film takes a strange turn in the middle of itself....
Yes, normally I would describe the movie and then give my thoughts on it. Not this one, though. All I really have to ask is: Really, Rob? Really?
I give it one giggly psycho blond out of 5...and a warning: not for the squeamish...or for anyone who needs time. Far as I can see, this movie is a waste of it.
Wonder what ever happened to the Firefly clan, that group of strange and sadistic psychopaths from "House of 1000 Corpses"? Well, if you do, this is the movie that will tell you. If you're expecting the over-the-top strangeness of the first movie, you're not going to find it here. Don't get me wrong, this movie has its own brand of viciousness and odd humor mixed in, but the film takes a strange turn in the middle of itself....
Yes, normally I would describe the movie and then give my thoughts on it. Not this one, though. All I really have to ask is: Really, Rob? Really?
I give it one giggly psycho blond out of 5...and a warning: not for the squeamish...or for anyone who needs time. Far as I can see, this movie is a waste of it.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Tomb (Ligeia)
The Tomb...2009...89 minutes...rated R...starring Wes Bentley, Kaitlyn Doubleday, Sofya Skya, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (also Eric Roberts and Michael Madsen)...written by John Shirley, based off of Edgar Allen Poe's "Ligeia"...directed by Michael Staininger
Some people seriously need to learn to quit while they're ahead. Let's take Jonathan Merrick for example: here's a man who has a good thing going at the university as a scholar and writer, has a lovely wife named Rowena, and a good shot of having a wonderful life. However, Jonathan finds himself under the spell of the bewitching Ligeia...you know, one of those raven-haired goth types. She really fits the Gothic stereotypes: she has a large manor, dresses in black, hangs in the club scene, drinks absinthe, has a strange and possibly magical mirror, and is conducting occult research to defeat death...itself...before she dies of some strange wasting illness. This involves some necromancy and binding of other souls to her will...but wehn love strikes, Jonathan learns to overlook these things. Okay, so he drinks himself to mindlessness and regrets the choices he's made. With Ligeia's death, you'd think Jonathan's problems would be over. Too bad her research paid off....
This selection was part of the 2009 Frightfest collection, and honestly isn't terrible. It's not exactly unique or hard to predict, but I'm kinder with reinterpretations of older material and you don't get much older in horror than Mr. Poe himself. I was a little surprised to see the collection of familiar faces listed above in the acting credits...and Michael Madsen's presence as Rowena's father makes me ask a meta-movie question: if your father-in-law was Michael Madsen, would you be divorcing your wife after having a fling with a college student? Not me...I'd be afraid I'd get the Tarantino treatment, if you will. Past that, though, the film goes through its chops pretty well and delivers fairly...if not exceptionally. Some people might find it moody and slowish...I'll point again at one word: Poe.
All this said, I do have another question to ask: how come all movies with necromancy eventually come down to the "Where's the evil spirit inhabiting" shell game? Find the dark soul, win a chance to live a little longer. I'm thinking there's got to be a way to shake this idea up...if I have any brilliant ideas, I'll write them up.
I give this selection 2.5 occult-sigil-laden-soul-extracting-and fetishy-looking mouth devices out of 5. (Admittedly, I'd love to have this prop.)
Some people seriously need to learn to quit while they're ahead. Let's take Jonathan Merrick for example: here's a man who has a good thing going at the university as a scholar and writer, has a lovely wife named Rowena, and a good shot of having a wonderful life. However, Jonathan finds himself under the spell of the bewitching Ligeia...you know, one of those raven-haired goth types. She really fits the Gothic stereotypes: she has a large manor, dresses in black, hangs in the club scene, drinks absinthe, has a strange and possibly magical mirror, and is conducting occult research to defeat death...itself...before she dies of some strange wasting illness. This involves some necromancy and binding of other souls to her will...but wehn love strikes, Jonathan learns to overlook these things. Okay, so he drinks himself to mindlessness and regrets the choices he's made. With Ligeia's death, you'd think Jonathan's problems would be over. Too bad her research paid off....
This selection was part of the 2009 Frightfest collection, and honestly isn't terrible. It's not exactly unique or hard to predict, but I'm kinder with reinterpretations of older material and you don't get much older in horror than Mr. Poe himself. I was a little surprised to see the collection of familiar faces listed above in the acting credits...and Michael Madsen's presence as Rowena's father makes me ask a meta-movie question: if your father-in-law was Michael Madsen, would you be divorcing your wife after having a fling with a college student? Not me...I'd be afraid I'd get the Tarantino treatment, if you will. Past that, though, the film goes through its chops pretty well and delivers fairly...if not exceptionally. Some people might find it moody and slowish...I'll point again at one word: Poe.
All this said, I do have another question to ask: how come all movies with necromancy eventually come down to the "Where's the evil spirit inhabiting" shell game? Find the dark soul, win a chance to live a little longer. I'm thinking there's got to be a way to shake this idea up...if I have any brilliant ideas, I'll write them up.
I give this selection 2.5 occult-sigil-laden-soul-extracting-and fetishy-looking mouth devices out of 5. (Admittedly, I'd love to have this prop.)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Atom Age Vampire (Seddok, l'irede di Satana)
Atom Age Vampire...1960...105 minutes...unrated...starring Alberto Lupo, Susanne Loret, Sergio Fantoni, and Franca Parisi...written by Piero Monviso...directed by Anton Giulio Majano.
It's not a good day to be a stripper in Italy. Jeanette has been disfigured in a car accident, and has been brought to Professor Albert Levin for a cure by his love-bound assistant Monique Riviere. The cure involves injections with certain glands plus the mysterious Serum 28 and is effective...temporarily. Our doctor, of course, has become quite infatuated with Jeanette and is determined to make this cure permanent...even if it means injecting himkself with an earlier form of the cure (Serum 25), becoming a monster every so often, and killing other women to do it. Too bad Jeanette still has the hots for her boyfriend...who is hot on her trail.
You got to love those nutty Italians, who've shown that with enough time and effort, they can make a B-movie horror flick as bad as some of the ones we've put out here. The plot is...well...all over the place, the acting seems off even knowing that it's been translated into English, and the doctor's transformation is both odd and rather unnecessary to the film's overall story. Somehow, the doctor is supposed to be a vampire for the atomic age...but "I want to extract your neck glands" just isn't as terrifying. Besides, apparently a big dog can keep the mad doctor away...even if he's in his monstrous form.
This film isn't one that you'll feel bad missing. I won't scold you for not seeing it, even under the pretense that watching this movie will build up your horror movie "vocabulary". Bad in any language is still bad, and this one's not bad enough to be good...although it has a certain hokey fun to it.
I'll give this one 1.5 pairs of gardening shears out of 5.
It's not a good day to be a stripper in Italy. Jeanette has been disfigured in a car accident, and has been brought to Professor Albert Levin for a cure by his love-bound assistant Monique Riviere. The cure involves injections with certain glands plus the mysterious Serum 28 and is effective...temporarily. Our doctor, of course, has become quite infatuated with Jeanette and is determined to make this cure permanent...even if it means injecting himkself with an earlier form of the cure (Serum 25), becoming a monster every so often, and killing other women to do it. Too bad Jeanette still has the hots for her boyfriend...who is hot on her trail.
You got to love those nutty Italians, who've shown that with enough time and effort, they can make a B-movie horror flick as bad as some of the ones we've put out here. The plot is...well...all over the place, the acting seems off even knowing that it's been translated into English, and the doctor's transformation is both odd and rather unnecessary to the film's overall story. Somehow, the doctor is supposed to be a vampire for the atomic age...but "I want to extract your neck glands" just isn't as terrifying. Besides, apparently a big dog can keep the mad doctor away...even if he's in his monstrous form.
This film isn't one that you'll feel bad missing. I won't scold you for not seeing it, even under the pretense that watching this movie will build up your horror movie "vocabulary". Bad in any language is still bad, and this one's not bad enough to be good...although it has a certain hokey fun to it.
I'll give this one 1.5 pairs of gardening shears out of 5.
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