The Blair Witch...2016...rated R...89 minutes....starring James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, and Brandon Scott...written by Simon Barrett...directed by Adam Wingard
Hello again after a while, my fellow horror fans. So let's talk about the new take on the Blair Witch legacy, shall we? As people who watch this genre with frequency know, protagonists get some dumb ideas. This movie starts with one of those bad decisions that viewers know will end in some terrible events happening. Heather's brother James (Heather being the filmmaker and head of the original Blair Witch Project) finds a Youtube video of footage found in the Black Hills Forest near the town of Burkittsville that shows a brief glimpse of a female wandering around an old structure. He assumes that this may in fact be Heather and decides to gather some friends and go look for her. As alluded to earlier, bad things ensue.
First of all, let me express one of my own biases. Mockumentary style films are old for me in the horror genre. The concept, kicked off with a bang by the original BWP, is now done to death and beyond. I can understand the interest in going back to this story, especially with the new technology that's available to people now. Drones, tiny cameras, Youtube...our toys have changed quite a bit since 1999. Since we're now on the other end of the spectrum with lots of found-footage horror movies out and about, I was hoping that this film would offer more than just another link in the chain.
What really disappointed me was that the story really didn't give us much that was new. I wanted to see more on the families of the original three and more of how the town was dealing with all the attention the first event caused. (A subject dealt with more in that thing referred to as Book Of Shadows...yeeeesh) I guess I was wanting a real sequel that actually furthered the first one's mythology and world.
Instead, I get supernatural hijinks that bend the laws of time and space with no real attempt at explanation on how this spirit got so strong. A very interesting plot point on this subject doesn't even get addressed. I get characters that I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for. Sure, I get a glimpse of the Witch herself...though I'm not sure that was a great decision. Basically, I felt like I got a modern redux of the story, not a real follow-up. And at least in this selection, I was not happy with what I got.
So, this one gets 2.5 piles of rocks out of 5. It's not really worth the stick figures.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Creature Lake
Creature Lake....2015...not rated...80 minutes...starring Jonathan Matthews, Mike Kekich, and Brandon Dhue...written by Damien Slevin...directed by Drazen Baric
5 friends decide to take a weekend excursion to a piece of property one of them claims to own close to a lake. The place seems like an ideal getaway spot, but the group gets warned off by some of the local Native Americans. Heedless, they go for their vacation and soon learn why they shouldn't have.
Again, I have a short plot synopsis because again I have found more found-footage horror with a fairly simple premise. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but as these stories are becoming more and more prevalent, I do think that something needs to make each one stand out on its own. This selection did not really deliver anything new...or anything all that terrifying. I was mostly confused and bemused.
At risk of throwing out spoilers, I was left with several questions. Why was this local tribe so intent on appeasing the ...whatever it was... in the lake? Was the naked woman merely an illusion the thing projected...and why was it chasing our protagonists? Why was the thing so goofy looking? Why did I sit through more dialogue laced with insults and racial epithets? (I get that in reality, people say some really messed up things at times...but maybe I don't need that much reality)
I can understand the limitations of a budget, but where this movie...and a lot of others...breaks down is that there is no internal consistency apparent in this supernatural world. I understand the characters would not have all of the information about what's going on and why, but the viewer needs to have a sense of the whole situation if the story is going to work. If the movie doesn't somehow convey all that info, it suffers...much like it does from bad acting, which didn't help this one either.
Overall...bleh, meh, and urgh for the time lost. 1 tentacle creature out of 5.
5 friends decide to take a weekend excursion to a piece of property one of them claims to own close to a lake. The place seems like an ideal getaway spot, but the group gets warned off by some of the local Native Americans. Heedless, they go for their vacation and soon learn why they shouldn't have.
Again, I have a short plot synopsis because again I have found more found-footage horror with a fairly simple premise. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but as these stories are becoming more and more prevalent, I do think that something needs to make each one stand out on its own. This selection did not really deliver anything new...or anything all that terrifying. I was mostly confused and bemused.
At risk of throwing out spoilers, I was left with several questions. Why was this local tribe so intent on appeasing the ...whatever it was... in the lake? Was the naked woman merely an illusion the thing projected...and why was it chasing our protagonists? Why was the thing so goofy looking? Why did I sit through more dialogue laced with insults and racial epithets? (I get that in reality, people say some really messed up things at times...but maybe I don't need that much reality)
I can understand the limitations of a budget, but where this movie...and a lot of others...breaks down is that there is no internal consistency apparent in this supernatural world. I understand the characters would not have all of the information about what's going on and why, but the viewer needs to have a sense of the whole situation if the story is going to work. If the movie doesn't somehow convey all that info, it suffers...much like it does from bad acting, which didn't help this one either.
Overall...bleh, meh, and urgh for the time lost. 1 tentacle creature out of 5.
Friday, April 21, 2017
NAMR: 7 Years Old
I'm just making a quick note that this off-and-on blog (mostly off) is now 7 years old. I do believe this place needs more life pumped into it. Yeah, I know, we'll see how that goes.
The Houses Octber Built
The Houses October Built...2014...not rated...91 minutes...starring Brandy Schaefer, Zack Andrews, and Bobby Roe...written by Zack Andrews...directed by Bobby Roe
Are you looking for the ultimate Halloween experience? Do you want to push the envelope of fear in your haunted house hunting? Well, in this found-footage film a group of friends decides to do just that the week of Halloween, and find the dangerous underside to the home-made haunts that spring up every season.
If the plot synopsis seems short, well, that's because that's basically it. I understand that the mockumentary format is one of the easiest ways to make a movie if you're getting started. With any luck, I will be involved in a project like some of the ones I'm reviewing...and I don't expect it to be cinematic gold. If I'm lucky, this hypothetical creation will be cinematic zinc. But enough of the sidebar, I'm just saying that I get why I'm seeing a lot more of this style of film. This one worked a little better for me despite the fact that I'm just not a huge fan of the format.
Maybe I've watched too many horror movies, but at this time in my life I find myself with very little sympathy for characters who go do the obviously risky thing or decide to invade the "bad place" or read the grimoire or what have you. Said protagonists knew better, and often times they were being obnoxious in the process. Our main characters here do fall into that category, and so I was surprised to find myself still interested. Personally, it was more of the general idea being explored here.
I'm a sucker for urban legends, and the idea of a moving "experience" that is really a killing ground...darkly wonderful. There is something unsettling about people dressing up in costume to scare you, and the film includes footage of the stories that people trade about attractions, accidents that happen there, and so forth. For me at least, that's a great idea to explore.
The costumes of some of the stalking psychopaths are pretty well done...one in particular of a doll-girl really stood out to me as disturbing and effective. But the story itself doesn't really offer many surprises, and people who live in the southern part of the country may not like some of the "redneck" comments that the group use as they get further off the beaten path. There are some moments that stand out...but in general, the movie really doesn't break the pattern I've come to see a lot of on Hulu and Netflix.
So, I will give this piece 2 weird doll-girls out of 5.
Are you looking for the ultimate Halloween experience? Do you want to push the envelope of fear in your haunted house hunting? Well, in this found-footage film a group of friends decides to do just that the week of Halloween, and find the dangerous underside to the home-made haunts that spring up every season.
If the plot synopsis seems short, well, that's because that's basically it. I understand that the mockumentary format is one of the easiest ways to make a movie if you're getting started. With any luck, I will be involved in a project like some of the ones I'm reviewing...and I don't expect it to be cinematic gold. If I'm lucky, this hypothetical creation will be cinematic zinc. But enough of the sidebar, I'm just saying that I get why I'm seeing a lot more of this style of film. This one worked a little better for me despite the fact that I'm just not a huge fan of the format.
Maybe I've watched too many horror movies, but at this time in my life I find myself with very little sympathy for characters who go do the obviously risky thing or decide to invade the "bad place" or read the grimoire or what have you. Said protagonists knew better, and often times they were being obnoxious in the process. Our main characters here do fall into that category, and so I was surprised to find myself still interested. Personally, it was more of the general idea being explored here.
I'm a sucker for urban legends, and the idea of a moving "experience" that is really a killing ground...darkly wonderful. There is something unsettling about people dressing up in costume to scare you, and the film includes footage of the stories that people trade about attractions, accidents that happen there, and so forth. For me at least, that's a great idea to explore.
The costumes of some of the stalking psychopaths are pretty well done...one in particular of a doll-girl really stood out to me as disturbing and effective. But the story itself doesn't really offer many surprises, and people who live in the southern part of the country may not like some of the "redneck" comments that the group use as they get further off the beaten path. There are some moments that stand out...but in general, the movie really doesn't break the pattern I've come to see a lot of on Hulu and Netflix.
So, I will give this piece 2 weird doll-girls out of 5.
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