Suck...2009...91 minutes...rated R...starring Rob Stefaniuk, Jessica Pare, Paul Anthony, and Malcolm McDowell...written by Rob Stefaniuk...directed by Rob Stefaniuk
Your manager is trying to get you to fire him, your ex-girlfriend has decided to spend the night partying with some goth freak, and your band is going nowhere. This state of affairs is where Joey, the main character of the film, starts in this offbeat Canadian film, playing with the whole vampires-meet-rock and roll concept that many horror fans know and...well, we know it, if we don't love it all the time. Soon the band...with a newly vampirized bass player...is hitting the road, coming to the states, and being pursued by a crazy one-eyed hunter named Eddie Van Helsing. (Yep, the hunter is indeed the role played by Malclom McDowell) Hijinks ensue.
So, the concept may sound tired and played, and certainly the production is not a big budget affair...but it holds up. Part of what makes the film feel sincere are the cameos done by Alice Cooper, Iggy Pop, Moby, and Henry Rollins. The dialogue has some shining moments in it as well...and a fun game the film plays with the audience is "Spot The Album Cover". Now, I'll admit that I didn't expect a huge classic when I clicked on this selection, but the film tickled me. There's almost no real fright in the movie, fyi, but a fair amount of gore.
Now, allow the Dark Angel Of Self Important Reviews to tell you what I think this film did correctly that some big budget films (Silent Hill: Revelation, I'm specifically looking at you) have not done. It's very simple, really: if you have Malcolm McDowell in your film, by Jove USE Malcolm McDowell! Sure, he wasn't at his most sinister, but he has a good amount of screen time and isn't just adding his name to make the movie have credibility. Okay, that's not *ALL* he's doing here...I'm not completely delusional.
Anyways, it's light fun in the supernatural genre... sure, there are better movies to watch, but it's sincere and not a terrible way to kill an hour and a half. I give it 3 tablets of "aspirin" out of 5.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Apollo 18
Apollo 18...2011...86 minutes...PG-13...starring Warren Christie, Lloyd Owen, and Ryan Robbins...written by Brian Miller...directed by Gonzalo Lopez-Gallego
So, many people know that the Apollo 17 mission was the last launched mission of the Apollo program, 18-20 being cut for budgetary reasons. However, what if there had been an Apollo 18 mission that we had never heard about? Why would there have been such an elaborate cover-up? Isn't the moon a stage set anyways? Anyways, we have discovered footage of this "lost" mission...yeah, yeah, yeah, you know the drill by now. Recovered film, things we weren't meant to know, etc etc etc ad nauseum.
I know, my tone up front doesn't sound positive...and I'll be equally up front when I say that I just couldn't suspend my disbelief enough with this concept. That said, I will say that I found myself liking the fact that there was a serious attempt to make the "found footage" appear authentic, and people interested in filming and different cameras might find this an interesting exercise. The actors do their jobs well; they really are trying to sell what I consider a flawed product and I had no problems with their performances. Little things like physics and biology got into my way as well...and normally I have no problem with setting aside my notions of hard science for the sake of story.
Let's face it, for many people the supernatural in general is a rough sell...I know there are people who just can't get into werewolves, vampires, ghosts...too much stuff to have to buy into. I personally am oriented the other way around...my brain has room for things of your more typical horror fare, and some crossovers between science fiction and horror I've found enjoyable. But tell me about a fake moon mission, and then posit the reasons why this mission was covered up...too much. I just couldn't go on this ride. (Maybe I'm just getting old.)
Not much in terms of suspense, and...okay, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but really, if you're going to do this sort of film, I'd say stick with Paranormal Activity. Really.
I give it 2 moon rocks out of 5.
So, many people know that the Apollo 17 mission was the last launched mission of the Apollo program, 18-20 being cut for budgetary reasons. However, what if there had been an Apollo 18 mission that we had never heard about? Why would there have been such an elaborate cover-up? Isn't the moon a stage set anyways? Anyways, we have discovered footage of this "lost" mission...yeah, yeah, yeah, you know the drill by now. Recovered film, things we weren't meant to know, etc etc etc ad nauseum.
I know, my tone up front doesn't sound positive...and I'll be equally up front when I say that I just couldn't suspend my disbelief enough with this concept. That said, I will say that I found myself liking the fact that there was a serious attempt to make the "found footage" appear authentic, and people interested in filming and different cameras might find this an interesting exercise. The actors do their jobs well; they really are trying to sell what I consider a flawed product and I had no problems with their performances. Little things like physics and biology got into my way as well...and normally I have no problem with setting aside my notions of hard science for the sake of story.
Let's face it, for many people the supernatural in general is a rough sell...I know there are people who just can't get into werewolves, vampires, ghosts...too much stuff to have to buy into. I personally am oriented the other way around...my brain has room for things of your more typical horror fare, and some crossovers between science fiction and horror I've found enjoyable. But tell me about a fake moon mission, and then posit the reasons why this mission was covered up...too much. I just couldn't go on this ride. (Maybe I'm just getting old.)
Not much in terms of suspense, and...okay, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but really, if you're going to do this sort of film, I'd say stick with Paranormal Activity. Really.
I give it 2 moon rocks out of 5.
Friday, February 8, 2013
The Fog (2005)
The Fog...2005...100 minutes...PG-13...starring Tom Welling, Maggie Grace, Selma Blair,and DeRay Davis...written by Cooper Layne based on the 1980 screenplay by John Carpenter and Debra Hill....directed by Rupert Wainwright
Antonio Bay, a fishing village off the coast of Oregon, is about to celebrate its 100th year anniversary, and Elizabeth Williams has come back from New York just in time to meet up with her old fling, Nick Castle, and be part of the festivities. Both of these people are descended from the founding fathers of Antonio Bay...and a bit of town history is about to catch up with them as well as several other people when a mysterious fog rolls in....
If this plot sounds at all familiar, that's because this movie is indeed a redo of the Carpenter film from 1980. John Carpenter does seem to be the man to "redo", what with new versions of "Halloween" and the prequel to "The Thing" released not too long ago. This film may have started the trend as it preceded both of them, and did have Debra Hill Productions involved as well. Still, one wonders how other Carpenter films were thought of as viable source material...don't get me wrong, I like his movies just fine...but this new version didn't exactly take the movie world by storm.
In the review I wrote up for the 1980 film, I mentioned that Carpenter's films often had a sense of the surreal to them, as if we were watching a celluloid capture of a nightmare. This time, we have a lot less of that sense of mystery and "What the hell?"... we learn more of the whole history of Antonio Bay, as well as understand why Elizabeth had to come back at that time. Of course, in the first film, Jamie Lee Curtis's Elizabeth is indeed a stranger with an interesting name that really does come to town at THE worst time. This version's Elizabeth is an integral part to the whole haunting. So, we gain more of a sense of story in this version.
That's about all we get. For some reason, I found the characters in the original much more interesting as people than the folks we get in this movie. We get a hint that Stevie Wayne and Nick Castle were involved at some point...is Stevie's boy Nick's? That might have been interesting to explore...but I'm not sure I would have cared. Part of what worked for me in the first movie is that these people basically got sucked into a nightmare that they really didn't deserve or even know about, but I somehow liked the characters enough that the haunting really felt sinister. This time, that connection wasn't there.
Even the enhanced effects didn't work for me...sure, the effects in the 80s version were cheesy, but one thing I will say that might have helped the older film: the spectres aren't vaporous themselves, but all too solid. They were the tangible fear IN the fog, and while their appearance can't be explained, a viewer doesn't doubt that these things can grab you and dice you up.
Honestly, this film just left me kinda "meh" with the added "Why does every haunting have to have a motive?". Maybe Carpenter was on to something...maybe the real fear in the supernatural is that there's no real explanation for why something like this might happen. Fear isn't completely rational; should our ghost stories be?
I give this movie 2 pocketwatches out of 5.
Antonio Bay, a fishing village off the coast of Oregon, is about to celebrate its 100th year anniversary, and Elizabeth Williams has come back from New York just in time to meet up with her old fling, Nick Castle, and be part of the festivities. Both of these people are descended from the founding fathers of Antonio Bay...and a bit of town history is about to catch up with them as well as several other people when a mysterious fog rolls in....
If this plot sounds at all familiar, that's because this movie is indeed a redo of the Carpenter film from 1980. John Carpenter does seem to be the man to "redo", what with new versions of "Halloween" and the prequel to "The Thing" released not too long ago. This film may have started the trend as it preceded both of them, and did have Debra Hill Productions involved as well. Still, one wonders how other Carpenter films were thought of as viable source material...don't get me wrong, I like his movies just fine...but this new version didn't exactly take the movie world by storm.
In the review I wrote up for the 1980 film, I mentioned that Carpenter's films often had a sense of the surreal to them, as if we were watching a celluloid capture of a nightmare. This time, we have a lot less of that sense of mystery and "What the hell?"... we learn more of the whole history of Antonio Bay, as well as understand why Elizabeth had to come back at that time. Of course, in the first film, Jamie Lee Curtis's Elizabeth is indeed a stranger with an interesting name that really does come to town at THE worst time. This version's Elizabeth is an integral part to the whole haunting. So, we gain more of a sense of story in this version.
That's about all we get. For some reason, I found the characters in the original much more interesting as people than the folks we get in this movie. We get a hint that Stevie Wayne and Nick Castle were involved at some point...is Stevie's boy Nick's? That might have been interesting to explore...but I'm not sure I would have cared. Part of what worked for me in the first movie is that these people basically got sucked into a nightmare that they really didn't deserve or even know about, but I somehow liked the characters enough that the haunting really felt sinister. This time, that connection wasn't there.
Even the enhanced effects didn't work for me...sure, the effects in the 80s version were cheesy, but one thing I will say that might have helped the older film: the spectres aren't vaporous themselves, but all too solid. They were the tangible fear IN the fog, and while their appearance can't be explained, a viewer doesn't doubt that these things can grab you and dice you up.
Honestly, this film just left me kinda "meh" with the added "Why does every haunting have to have a motive?". Maybe Carpenter was on to something...maybe the real fear in the supernatural is that there's no real explanation for why something like this might happen. Fear isn't completely rational; should our ghost stories be?
I give this movie 2 pocketwatches out of 5.
The Fog (1980)
The Fog...1980...89 minutes...rated R...starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau, Janet Leigh, and Hal Holbrook...written by John Carpenter and Debra Hill...directed by John Carpenter
So, I'll admit that I'm partial to John Carpenter films, and I think that's mostly to do with the soundtracks he composes for his movies. For whatever reason, his films have generally managed to creep me out on some level, even when the stories seem more like fragments. The quote by Edgar Allen Poe at the beginning of this movie is relevant; Carpenter's movies always seem like nightmares and that surreal quality just makes the experience of his films unsettling.
I think this film is one of the best examples of that dreamlike imagery, and the start of the film with John Houseman telling ghost stories sets that tone immediately. In this film, the fishing community of Antonio Bay is just about to celebrate it's 100th anniversary; however the past isn't through with the town. The fog rolls in between midnight and one, the hour that belongs to the dead, and a bit of town history that was forgotten comes back seeking revenge. I'll grant that it's not much of a blurb, but if you haven't seen this selection, I'd hate to ruin it for you. I'll give you a hint; bloodthirsty seafaring ghosts are involved. (Aren't they the best kind of ghosts?)
There's a lot of classic star power involved in this movie, as seen by the credits above. Their performances, ranging from the single mother and voice of the local radio to the clergyman in his cups, help sell the idea that these are people dealing with the unknown. The story seems disjointed, but in some ways, the fact that no one person has all the answers or knows what's going on also establishes just enough of a feeling of reality...but a reality turning askew. For people like myself who like genre references and "in-jokes", the movie has those as well. (Dr. Phibes...really?) The soundtrack is genuine Carpenter, and the movie's length isn't stretched out too long. (The movie was actually almost too short, hence the whole John Houseman scene referred to earlier.)
Is "The Fog" the best movie ever? No, I won't go so far...but Carpenter is one of the names to look at if you're studying horror movies at all, and this film catches a lot of the essence that makes up his movies. If you have to see another Carpenter movie besides "Halloween"...which is indeed a mandatory movie... this film isn't a bad choice to get a sense of the director's works.
This movie gets 3 "Look, it's a coin...no, look, it's a board" artifacts out of 5.
So, I'll admit that I'm partial to John Carpenter films, and I think that's mostly to do with the soundtracks he composes for his movies. For whatever reason, his films have generally managed to creep me out on some level, even when the stories seem more like fragments. The quote by Edgar Allen Poe at the beginning of this movie is relevant; Carpenter's movies always seem like nightmares and that surreal quality just makes the experience of his films unsettling.
I think this film is one of the best examples of that dreamlike imagery, and the start of the film with John Houseman telling ghost stories sets that tone immediately. In this film, the fishing community of Antonio Bay is just about to celebrate it's 100th anniversary; however the past isn't through with the town. The fog rolls in between midnight and one, the hour that belongs to the dead, and a bit of town history that was forgotten comes back seeking revenge. I'll grant that it's not much of a blurb, but if you haven't seen this selection, I'd hate to ruin it for you. I'll give you a hint; bloodthirsty seafaring ghosts are involved. (Aren't they the best kind of ghosts?)
There's a lot of classic star power involved in this movie, as seen by the credits above. Their performances, ranging from the single mother and voice of the local radio to the clergyman in his cups, help sell the idea that these are people dealing with the unknown. The story seems disjointed, but in some ways, the fact that no one person has all the answers or knows what's going on also establishes just enough of a feeling of reality...but a reality turning askew. For people like myself who like genre references and "in-jokes", the movie has those as well. (Dr. Phibes...really?) The soundtrack is genuine Carpenter, and the movie's length isn't stretched out too long. (The movie was actually almost too short, hence the whole John Houseman scene referred to earlier.)
Is "The Fog" the best movie ever? No, I won't go so far...but Carpenter is one of the names to look at if you're studying horror movies at all, and this film catches a lot of the essence that makes up his movies. If you have to see another Carpenter movie besides "Halloween"...which is indeed a mandatory movie... this film isn't a bad choice to get a sense of the director's works.
This movie gets 3 "Look, it's a coin...no, look, it's a board" artifacts out of 5.
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