The Tomb (Ligeia)

The Tomb...2009...89 minutes...rated R...starring Wes Bentley, Kaitlyn Doubleday, Sofya Skya, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (also Eric Roberts and Michael Madsen)...written by John Shirley, based off of Edgar Allen Poe's "Ligeia"...directed by Michael Staininger

Some people seriously need to learn to quit while they're ahead. Let's take Jonathan Merrick for example: here's a man who has a good thing going at the university as a scholar and writer, has a lovely wife named Rowena, and a good shot of having a wonderful life. However, Jonathan finds himself under the spell of the bewitching Ligeia...you know, one of those raven-haired goth types. She really fits the Gothic stereotypes: she has a large manor, dresses in black, hangs in the club scene, drinks absinthe, has a strange and possibly magical mirror, and is conducting occult research to defeat death...itself...before she dies of some strange wasting illness. This involves some necromancy and binding of other souls to her will...but wehn love strikes, Jonathan learns to overlook these things. Okay, so he drinks himself to mindlessness and regrets the choices he's made. With Ligeia's death, you'd think Jonathan's problems would be over. Too bad her research paid off....

This selection was part of the 2009 Frightfest collection, and honestly isn't terrible. It's not exactly unique or hard to predict, but I'm kinder with reinterpretations of older material  and you don't get much older in horror than Mr. Poe himself. I was a little surprised to see the collection of familiar faces listed above in the acting credits...and Michael Madsen's presence as Rowena's father makes me ask a meta-movie question: if your father-in-law was Michael Madsen, would you be divorcing your wife after having a fling with a college student? Not me...I'd be afraid I'd get the Tarantino treatment, if you will. Past that, though, the film goes through its chops pretty well and delivers fairly...if not exceptionally. Some people might find it moody and slowish...I'll point again at one word: Poe.

All this said, I do have another question to ask: how come all movies with necromancy eventually come down to the "Where's the evil spirit inhabiting" shell game? Find the dark soul, win a chance to live a little longer. I'm thinking there's got to be a way to shake this idea up...if I have any brilliant ideas, I'll write them up.

I give this selection 2.5 occult-sigil-laden-soul-extracting-and fetishy-looking mouth devices out of 5. (Admittedly, I'd love to have this prop.)

Atom Age Vampire (Seddok, l'irede di Satana)

Atom Age Vampire...1960...105 minutes...unrated...starring Alberto Lupo, Susanne Loret, Sergio Fantoni, and Franca Parisi...written by Piero Monviso...directed by Anton Giulio Majano.

It's not a good day to be a stripper in Italy. Jeanette has been disfigured in a car accident, and has been brought to Professor Albert Levin for a cure by his love-bound assistant Monique Riviere. The cure involves injections with certain glands plus the mysterious Serum 28 and is effective...temporarily. Our doctor, of course, has become quite infatuated with Jeanette and is determined to make this cure permanent...even if it means injecting himkself with an earlier form of the cure (Serum 25), becoming a monster every so often, and killing other women to do it. Too bad Jeanette still has the hots for her boyfriend...who is hot on her trail.

You got to love those nutty Italians, who've shown that with enough time and effort, they can make a B-movie horror flick as bad as some of the ones we've put out here.  The plot is...well...all over the place, the acting seems off even knowing that it's been translated into English, and the doctor's transformation is both odd and rather unnecessary to the film's overall story. Somehow, the doctor is supposed to be a vampire for the atomic age...but "I want to extract your neck glands" just isn't as terrifying. Besides, apparently a big dog can keep the mad doctor away...even if he's in his monstrous form.

This film isn't one that you'll feel bad missing. I won't scold you for not seeing it, even under the pretense that watching this movie will build up your horror movie "vocabulary". Bad in any language is still bad, and this one's not bad enough to be good...although it has a certain hokey fun to it.

I'll give this one 1.5 pairs of gardening shears out of 5.

NAMR: On Blogging, Quotas, and Just Writing

So, I set this blog up with a pretty impossible goal in mind, which was to try and write up 500 horror movie reviews in a year's time. Impossible is actually not the right word, but I knew it would be a challenge...mostly because I've always had issues with focus when it comes down to personal projects. So, while I've had jags here and there, it's pretty safe to say that my initial goal is not going to be made. However, here's where the cliche works in...because to all cliches there is a certain element of truth.

The cliche is this one: that along the way I discovered something...which is true. I tried to set the whole thing aside after my run of entries in April...just figured I wouldn't go back to it...though even then I knew I didn't want to send what I had worked on to data heaven either. So I kept it...and every once in a while I would watch something and think about writing an entry. It didn't really dawn on me until last night what was happening.

I was missing writing up entries.

Now, I'll be the first to grant that these little blurbs are not likely to be changing the world anytime soon, or that the writing in them is anything superior. But it's something I've found I've enjoyed doing, just here and there when I have the chance. I think I missed that joy in focusing too much on a certain number, and while I still admit that I need discipline in my writing, I've got to find a way of doing regular work without sucking out all the life involved in it.

This rambling is a long way of saying that I'll be doing more entries, though I'm not going to hit that 500 mark by Halloween, I'm almost positive. I'm actually not sure that's a bad thing if I keep up the writing...which is just what I plan to do.

Hope your summer is going well, I think mine is already off to a good start.