Smile (2022)

 Smile...2022...rated R...1 hrs 55 min...starring Sosie Bacon, Jesse T. Usher, and Kyle Gallner. Written and directed by Parker Finn

(Quick note, I certainly wasn't expecting it to be a month before I posted a review. In my defense, however, that month was full of bad health, new revelations, and currently a stint in therapy to regain both strength and independence. So...maybe cut a beleaguered old man some slack?)

Rose Cotter is a young therapist who we soon learn is a very driven person that can't seem to turn away a case. This manic drive proves to be a trait that she didn't need so much of (but has reasons for). On the way out of the office, she decides to help one more person. Said person claims that she's being stalked by something...something that has many faces...known to her and unknown as well but all with the most twisted smile. Rose tries to help but of course thinks that this is just something the young woman -believes- is true but isn't. Then the victim goes into a fit, with Rose getting help. But when Rose returns, the woman is no longer agitated. In fact she has a rather nasty smile on her face as she ends up killing herself. Soon Rose becomes the next person stalked by whatever is smiling so wrongly and of course, hijinks ensue.

This movie can be looked at on a few levels...it may not be the deepest piece of cinema ever but I think it's clear that the idea of trauma being passed on and affecting the next person or people in the chain is present. We find out that Rose has some deep flaws and issues, and has surrounded herself with the worst support group ever. The cinematography is gorgeous and the soundtrack matches it so that we, the viewers, understand that we are no longer in the normal, "sane" world once the entity enters. Rose is driven deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole of madness as she deals with something that can't be real and yet is.

There are a few jump scares along the way but at least one of them surprised me by how it was executed. The only telegraphed piece is, in my opinion, supposed to be that way. That makes it no less gruesome. The ending has some re iews loving it and others not so enthused...but I'm not sure how else it could have ended and not felt cheapened. 

Overall: solid horror movie; disturbing, triggery, scary, and often just downright creepy.  I give it 3.5 understaffed mental hospitals out of 5. I might have gone higher but it didn't hit the excellent mark for me, sadly. But in horror movies, I will take "damn good" gladly and happily.

Seven Years But Not Completely Dead (NAMR)

 Since it has been so long, and since I need to get back into the mindset of writing these entries, NAMR stands for "Not A Movie Review". This post is about why I have come back to this little side project of mine. Knowing the writer as I do, I'm sure we will meander here and there along the way. Straight lines and I have never really gotten along.

Honestly, I didn't really expect to be back to this virtual "neck of the woods". But I also did not expect another major complication that has affected my life. My health has taken a downward bump. I had to go see my doctor about an incident I had almost a month ago and since then moving about my house has been possible but limited. We're not sure what is going on just yet but it has very seriously impacted my life as well as my wife's. Even my dog knows something serious is up, though it doesn't stop my lovable goon from giving me sass. (That's just part of the service.)

So I have a lot more time on my hands right now and I need to find ways to keep busy or else I will worry myself into an even worse position. Worry is not a useful skill as far as I can tell but I have mastered the art of it in my multiple years roaming up and down on this planet. I remembered this blog and figured I certainly had a bit more time to devote to it right now.

So I'm back in the saddle again. I don't expect high readership or much of anything to come of it, but if it keeps me from vibrating through the bed Flash-style then my time invested will have been well spent.

Besides, I still have opinions. Lots of them.

The Blair Witch (2016)

The Blair Witch...2016...rated R...89 minutes....starring James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, and Brandon Scott...written by Simon Barrett...directed by Adam Wingard

Hello again after a while, my fellow horror fans. So let's talk about the new take on the Blair Witch legacy, shall we? As people who watch this genre with frequency know, protagonists get some dumb ideas. This movie starts with one of those bad decisions that viewers know will end in some terrible events happening. Heather's brother James (Heather being the filmmaker and head of the original Blair Witch Project) finds a Youtube video of footage found in the Black Hills Forest near the town of Burkittsville that shows a brief glimpse of a female wandering around an old structure. He assumes that this may in fact be Heather and decides to gather some friends and go look for her. As alluded to earlier, bad things ensue.

First of all, let me express one of my own biases. Mockumentary style films are old for me in the horror genre. The concept, kicked off with a bang by the original BWP, is now done to death and beyond. I can understand the interest in going back to this story, especially with the new technology that's available to people now. Drones, tiny cameras, Youtube...our toys have changed quite a bit since 1999. Since we're now on the other end of the spectrum with lots of found-footage horror movies out and about, I was hoping that this film would offer more than just another link in the chain.

What really disappointed me was that the story really didn't give us much that was new. I wanted to see more on the families of the original three and more of how the town was dealing with all the attention the first event caused. (A subject dealt with more in that thing referred to as Book Of Shadows...yeeeesh) I guess I was wanting a real sequel that actually furthered the first one's mythology and world.

Instead, I get supernatural hijinks that bend the laws of time and space with no real attempt at explanation on how this spirit got so strong. A very interesting plot point on this subject doesn't even get addressed. I get characters that I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for. Sure, I get a glimpse of the Witch herself...though I'm not sure that was a great decision. Basically, I felt like I got a modern redux of the story, not a real follow-up. And at least in this selection, I was not happy with what I got.

So, this one gets 2.5 piles of rocks out of 5. It's not really worth the stick figures.

Creature Lake

Creature Lake....2015...not rated...80 minutes...starring Jonathan Matthews, Mike Kekich, and Brandon Dhue...written by Damien Slevin...directed by Drazen Baric

5 friends decide to take a weekend excursion to a piece of property one of them claims to own close to a lake. The place seems like an ideal getaway spot, but the group gets warned off by some of the local Native Americans. Heedless, they go for their vacation and soon learn why they shouldn't have.

Again, I have a short plot synopsis because again I have found more found-footage horror with a fairly simple premise. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but as these stories are becoming more and more prevalent, I do think that something needs to make each one stand out on its own. This selection did not really deliver anything new...or anything all that terrifying. I was mostly confused and bemused.

At risk of throwing out spoilers, I was left with several questions. Why was this local tribe so intent on appeasing the ...whatever it was... in the lake? Was the naked woman merely an illusion the thing projected...and why was it chasing our protagonists? Why was the thing so goofy looking? Why did I sit through more dialogue laced with insults and racial epithets? (I get that in reality, people say some really messed up things at times...but maybe I don't need that much reality)

I can understand the limitations of a budget, but where this movie...and a lot of others...breaks down is that there is no internal consistency apparent in this supernatural world. I understand the characters would not have all of the information about what's going on and why,  but the viewer needs to have a sense of the whole situation if the story is going to work. If the movie doesn't somehow convey all that info, it suffers...much like it does from bad acting, which didn't help this one either.

Overall...bleh, meh, and urgh for the time lost. 1 tentacle creature out of 5.

NAMR: 7 Years Old

I'm just making a quick note that this off-and-on blog (mostly off) is now 7 years old. I do believe this place needs more life pumped into it. Yeah, I know, we'll see how that goes.

The Houses Octber Built

The Houses October Built...2014...not rated...91 minutes...starring Brandy Schaefer, Zack Andrews, and Bobby Roe...written by Zack Andrews...directed by Bobby Roe

Are you looking for the ultimate Halloween experience? Do you want to push the envelope of fear in your haunted house hunting? Well, in this found-footage film a group of friends decides to do just that the week of Halloween, and find the dangerous underside to the home-made haunts that spring up every season.

If the plot synopsis seems short, well, that's because that's basically it. I understand that the mockumentary format is one of the easiest ways to make a movie if you're getting started. With any luck, I will be involved in a project like some of the ones I'm reviewing...and I don't expect it to be cinematic gold. If I'm lucky, this hypothetical creation will be cinematic zinc. But enough of the sidebar, I'm just saying that I get why I'm seeing a lot more of this style of film. This one worked a little better for me despite the fact that I'm just not a huge fan of the format.

Maybe I've watched too many horror movies, but at this time in my life I find myself with very little sympathy for characters who go do the obviously risky thing or decide to invade the "bad place" or read the grimoire or what have you. Said protagonists knew better, and often times they were being obnoxious in the process. Our main characters here do fall into that category, and so I was surprised to find myself still interested. Personally, it was more of the general idea being explored here.

I'm a sucker for urban legends, and the idea of a moving "experience" that is really a killing ground...darkly wonderful. There is something unsettling about people dressing up in costume to scare you, and the film includes footage of the stories that people trade about attractions, accidents that happen there, and so forth. For me at least, that's a great idea to explore.

The costumes of some of the stalking psychopaths are pretty well done...one in particular of a doll-girl really stood out to me as disturbing and effective. But the story itself doesn't really offer many surprises, and people who live in the southern part of the country may not like some of the "redneck" comments that the group use as they get further off the beaten path. There are some moments that stand out...but in general, the movie really doesn't break the pattern I've come to see a lot of on Hulu and Netflix.

So, I will give this piece 2 weird doll-girls out of 5.

Bride Of Frankenstein

Bride Of Frankenstein...1935...unrated...75 minutes...starring Colin Clive, Elsa Lanchester, Ernest Thesiger, and Boris Karloff...adapted from Mary Shelley's work by William Hurlbut...directed by James Whale

Sequels are often a tricky business; I know of only a few that manage to stand up to their predecessor movies let alone surpass them. After seeing "Bride", however, I have another selection to add to this short list. What we have here is one of those works that surpasses just being a film. This classic is a movie that has woven itself into the history of the cinema, not just for horror films but for the medium in general.

First, we are shown an opening sequence that shows a conversation between Byron and the Shelleys that leads us into the movie. Elsa Lanchester plays Mary Shelley in this short part, as well as the Bride herself later, and gives viewers the transition into the story proper. The story picks up after the end of "Frankenstein", and as I hinted at before the monster has proven to be hardier than the local villagers had hoped. Dr. Frankenstein has survived his calamitous fall as well, and only returns to his crazed pursuit of reanimation after being both tempted and later coerced by a warped colleague, Dr. Pretorius. Pretorius has created his own miniature life forms, but wants to collaborate with Dr. Frankenstein to build a woman. Meanwhile, the Monster has been captured but escapes, generally gets treated poorly, but finally receives a small measure of kindness when he stumbles across a cottage that houses a blind hermit. Not surprisingly, this doesn't last...and the Monster ends up working with the scheming Pretorius to get Frankenstein to build him a companion. The conclusion...well, if you don't know, see it for yourself.

Now, I could go on and on about this piece...and many critics have. To be fair, there's lots to look at and admire...the performances are wonderful, the artistry of the sets and lighting is distinctive, the makeup is still iconic (though this time the get-up is much kinder to Karloff). The Monster does speak in this film, and while the actor himself was worried that this decision was the wrong one, I think it adds to the pathos of the created being. There's also an interweaving of humor in the film that gives it lightness in places and a strange twist in others...overall adding to the movie's movement.

Again, I'm not sure how much this film translates to the modern audience, but in the horror genre this movie is a foundation of many films that later come down the road. ("Gothic" and "The Bride" are two quick examples.) For some people, I'm sure that watching this would be "eating your veggies" all over again, but it's worth it. If you only see one of the Frankenstein films, see this one.

My rating: 4 and a half tiny people in bottles.