The Blair Witch...2016...rated R...89 minutes....starring James Allen McCune, Callie Hernandez, Corbin Reid, and Brandon Scott...written by Simon Barrett...directed by Adam Wingard
Hello again after a while, my fellow horror fans. So let's talk about the new take on the Blair Witch legacy, shall we? As people who watch this genre with frequency know, protagonists get some dumb ideas. This movie starts with one of those bad decisions that viewers know will end in some terrible events happening. Heather's brother James (Heather being the filmmaker and head of the original Blair Witch Project) finds a Youtube video of footage found in the Black Hills Forest near the town of Burkittsville that shows a brief glimpse of a female wandering around an old structure. He assumes that this may in fact be Heather and decides to gather some friends and go look for her. As alluded to earlier, bad things ensue.
First of all, let me express one of my own biases. Mockumentary style films are old for me in the horror genre. The concept, kicked off with a bang by the original BWP, is now done to death and beyond. I can understand the interest in going back to this story, especially with the new technology that's available to people now. Drones, tiny cameras, Youtube...our toys have changed quite a bit since 1999. Since we're now on the other end of the spectrum with lots of found-footage horror movies out and about, I was hoping that this film would offer more than just another link in the chain.
What really disappointed me was that the story really didn't give us much that was new. I wanted to see more on the families of the original three and more of how the town was dealing with all the attention the first event caused. (A subject dealt with more in that thing referred to as Book Of Shadows...yeeeesh) I guess I was wanting a real sequel that actually furthered the first one's mythology and world.
Instead, I get supernatural hijinks that bend the laws of time and space with no real attempt at explanation on how this spirit got so strong. A very interesting plot point on this subject doesn't even get addressed. I get characters that I don't have a whole lot of sympathy for. Sure, I get a glimpse of the Witch herself...though I'm not sure that was a great decision. Basically, I felt like I got a modern redux of the story, not a real follow-up. And at least in this selection, I was not happy with what I got.
So, this one gets 2.5 piles of rocks out of 5. It's not really worth the stick figures.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Thursday, April 27, 2017
Creature Lake
Creature Lake....2015...not rated...80 minutes...starring Jonathan Matthews, Mike Kekich, and Brandon Dhue...written by Damien Slevin...directed by Drazen Baric
5 friends decide to take a weekend excursion to a piece of property one of them claims to own close to a lake. The place seems like an ideal getaway spot, but the group gets warned off by some of the local Native Americans. Heedless, they go for their vacation and soon learn why they shouldn't have.
Again, I have a short plot synopsis because again I have found more found-footage horror with a fairly simple premise. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but as these stories are becoming more and more prevalent, I do think that something needs to make each one stand out on its own. This selection did not really deliver anything new...or anything all that terrifying. I was mostly confused and bemused.
At risk of throwing out spoilers, I was left with several questions. Why was this local tribe so intent on appeasing the ...whatever it was... in the lake? Was the naked woman merely an illusion the thing projected...and why was it chasing our protagonists? Why was the thing so goofy looking? Why did I sit through more dialogue laced with insults and racial epithets? (I get that in reality, people say some really messed up things at times...but maybe I don't need that much reality)
I can understand the limitations of a budget, but where this movie...and a lot of others...breaks down is that there is no internal consistency apparent in this supernatural world. I understand the characters would not have all of the information about what's going on and why, but the viewer needs to have a sense of the whole situation if the story is going to work. If the movie doesn't somehow convey all that info, it suffers...much like it does from bad acting, which didn't help this one either.
Overall...bleh, meh, and urgh for the time lost. 1 tentacle creature out of 5.
5 friends decide to take a weekend excursion to a piece of property one of them claims to own close to a lake. The place seems like an ideal getaway spot, but the group gets warned off by some of the local Native Americans. Heedless, they go for their vacation and soon learn why they shouldn't have.
Again, I have a short plot synopsis because again I have found more found-footage horror with a fairly simple premise. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but as these stories are becoming more and more prevalent, I do think that something needs to make each one stand out on its own. This selection did not really deliver anything new...or anything all that terrifying. I was mostly confused and bemused.
At risk of throwing out spoilers, I was left with several questions. Why was this local tribe so intent on appeasing the ...whatever it was... in the lake? Was the naked woman merely an illusion the thing projected...and why was it chasing our protagonists? Why was the thing so goofy looking? Why did I sit through more dialogue laced with insults and racial epithets? (I get that in reality, people say some really messed up things at times...but maybe I don't need that much reality)
I can understand the limitations of a budget, but where this movie...and a lot of others...breaks down is that there is no internal consistency apparent in this supernatural world. I understand the characters would not have all of the information about what's going on and why, but the viewer needs to have a sense of the whole situation if the story is going to work. If the movie doesn't somehow convey all that info, it suffers...much like it does from bad acting, which didn't help this one either.
Overall...bleh, meh, and urgh for the time lost. 1 tentacle creature out of 5.
Friday, April 21, 2017
NAMR: 7 Years Old
I'm just making a quick note that this off-and-on blog (mostly off) is now 7 years old. I do believe this place needs more life pumped into it. Yeah, I know, we'll see how that goes.
The Houses Octber Built
The Houses October Built...2014...not rated...91 minutes...starring Brandy Schaefer, Zack Andrews, and Bobby Roe...written by Zack Andrews...directed by Bobby Roe
Are you looking for the ultimate Halloween experience? Do you want to push the envelope of fear in your haunted house hunting? Well, in this found-footage film a group of friends decides to do just that the week of Halloween, and find the dangerous underside to the home-made haunts that spring up every season.
If the plot synopsis seems short, well, that's because that's basically it. I understand that the mockumentary format is one of the easiest ways to make a movie if you're getting started. With any luck, I will be involved in a project like some of the ones I'm reviewing...and I don't expect it to be cinematic gold. If I'm lucky, this hypothetical creation will be cinematic zinc. But enough of the sidebar, I'm just saying that I get why I'm seeing a lot more of this style of film. This one worked a little better for me despite the fact that I'm just not a huge fan of the format.
Maybe I've watched too many horror movies, but at this time in my life I find myself with very little sympathy for characters who go do the obviously risky thing or decide to invade the "bad place" or read the grimoire or what have you. Said protagonists knew better, and often times they were being obnoxious in the process. Our main characters here do fall into that category, and so I was surprised to find myself still interested. Personally, it was more of the general idea being explored here.
I'm a sucker for urban legends, and the idea of a moving "experience" that is really a killing ground...darkly wonderful. There is something unsettling about people dressing up in costume to scare you, and the film includes footage of the stories that people trade about attractions, accidents that happen there, and so forth. For me at least, that's a great idea to explore.
The costumes of some of the stalking psychopaths are pretty well done...one in particular of a doll-girl really stood out to me as disturbing and effective. But the story itself doesn't really offer many surprises, and people who live in the southern part of the country may not like some of the "redneck" comments that the group use as they get further off the beaten path. There are some moments that stand out...but in general, the movie really doesn't break the pattern I've come to see a lot of on Hulu and Netflix.
So, I will give this piece 2 weird doll-girls out of 5.
Are you looking for the ultimate Halloween experience? Do you want to push the envelope of fear in your haunted house hunting? Well, in this found-footage film a group of friends decides to do just that the week of Halloween, and find the dangerous underside to the home-made haunts that spring up every season.
If the plot synopsis seems short, well, that's because that's basically it. I understand that the mockumentary format is one of the easiest ways to make a movie if you're getting started. With any luck, I will be involved in a project like some of the ones I'm reviewing...and I don't expect it to be cinematic gold. If I'm lucky, this hypothetical creation will be cinematic zinc. But enough of the sidebar, I'm just saying that I get why I'm seeing a lot more of this style of film. This one worked a little better for me despite the fact that I'm just not a huge fan of the format.
Maybe I've watched too many horror movies, but at this time in my life I find myself with very little sympathy for characters who go do the obviously risky thing or decide to invade the "bad place" or read the grimoire or what have you. Said protagonists knew better, and often times they were being obnoxious in the process. Our main characters here do fall into that category, and so I was surprised to find myself still interested. Personally, it was more of the general idea being explored here.
I'm a sucker for urban legends, and the idea of a moving "experience" that is really a killing ground...darkly wonderful. There is something unsettling about people dressing up in costume to scare you, and the film includes footage of the stories that people trade about attractions, accidents that happen there, and so forth. For me at least, that's a great idea to explore.
The costumes of some of the stalking psychopaths are pretty well done...one in particular of a doll-girl really stood out to me as disturbing and effective. But the story itself doesn't really offer many surprises, and people who live in the southern part of the country may not like some of the "redneck" comments that the group use as they get further off the beaten path. There are some moments that stand out...but in general, the movie really doesn't break the pattern I've come to see a lot of on Hulu and Netflix.
So, I will give this piece 2 weird doll-girls out of 5.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Bride Of Frankenstein
Bride Of Frankenstein...1935...unrated...75 minutes...starring Colin Clive, Elsa Lanchester, Ernest Thesiger, and Boris Karloff...adapted from Mary Shelley's work by William Hurlbut...directed by James Whale
Sequels are often a tricky business; I know of only a few that manage to stand up to their predecessor movies let alone surpass them. After seeing "Bride", however, I have another selection to add to this short list. What we have here is one of those works that surpasses just being a film. This classic is a movie that has woven itself into the history of the cinema, not just for horror films but for the medium in general.
First, we are shown an opening sequence that shows a conversation between Byron and the Shelleys that leads us into the movie. Elsa Lanchester plays Mary Shelley in this short part, as well as the Bride herself later, and gives viewers the transition into the story proper. The story picks up after the end of "Frankenstein", and as I hinted at before the monster has proven to be hardier than the local villagers had hoped. Dr. Frankenstein has survived his calamitous fall as well, and only returns to his crazed pursuit of reanimation after being both tempted and later coerced by a warped colleague, Dr. Pretorius. Pretorius has created his own miniature life forms, but wants to collaborate with Dr. Frankenstein to build a woman. Meanwhile, the Monster has been captured but escapes, generally gets treated poorly, but finally receives a small measure of kindness when he stumbles across a cottage that houses a blind hermit. Not surprisingly, this doesn't last...and the Monster ends up working with the scheming Pretorius to get Frankenstein to build him a companion. The conclusion...well, if you don't know, see it for yourself.
Now, I could go on and on about this piece...and many critics have. To be fair, there's lots to look at and admire...the performances are wonderful, the artistry of the sets and lighting is distinctive, the makeup is still iconic (though this time the get-up is much kinder to Karloff). The Monster does speak in this film, and while the actor himself was worried that this decision was the wrong one, I think it adds to the pathos of the created being. There's also an interweaving of humor in the film that gives it lightness in places and a strange twist in others...overall adding to the movie's movement.
Again, I'm not sure how much this film translates to the modern audience, but in the horror genre this movie is a foundation of many films that later come down the road. ("Gothic" and "The Bride" are two quick examples.) For some people, I'm sure that watching this would be "eating your veggies" all over again, but it's worth it. If you only see one of the Frankenstein films, see this one.
My rating: 4 and a half tiny people in bottles.
Sequels are often a tricky business; I know of only a few that manage to stand up to their predecessor movies let alone surpass them. After seeing "Bride", however, I have another selection to add to this short list. What we have here is one of those works that surpasses just being a film. This classic is a movie that has woven itself into the history of the cinema, not just for horror films but for the medium in general.
First, we are shown an opening sequence that shows a conversation between Byron and the Shelleys that leads us into the movie. Elsa Lanchester plays Mary Shelley in this short part, as well as the Bride herself later, and gives viewers the transition into the story proper. The story picks up after the end of "Frankenstein", and as I hinted at before the monster has proven to be hardier than the local villagers had hoped. Dr. Frankenstein has survived his calamitous fall as well, and only returns to his crazed pursuit of reanimation after being both tempted and later coerced by a warped colleague, Dr. Pretorius. Pretorius has created his own miniature life forms, but wants to collaborate with Dr. Frankenstein to build a woman. Meanwhile, the Monster has been captured but escapes, generally gets treated poorly, but finally receives a small measure of kindness when he stumbles across a cottage that houses a blind hermit. Not surprisingly, this doesn't last...and the Monster ends up working with the scheming Pretorius to get Frankenstein to build him a companion. The conclusion...well, if you don't know, see it for yourself.
Now, I could go on and on about this piece...and many critics have. To be fair, there's lots to look at and admire...the performances are wonderful, the artistry of the sets and lighting is distinctive, the makeup is still iconic (though this time the get-up is much kinder to Karloff). The Monster does speak in this film, and while the actor himself was worried that this decision was the wrong one, I think it adds to the pathos of the created being. There's also an interweaving of humor in the film that gives it lightness in places and a strange twist in others...overall adding to the movie's movement.
Again, I'm not sure how much this film translates to the modern audience, but in the horror genre this movie is a foundation of many films that later come down the road. ("Gothic" and "The Bride" are two quick examples.) For some people, I'm sure that watching this would be "eating your veggies" all over again, but it's worth it. If you only see one of the Frankenstein films, see this one.
My rating: 4 and a half tiny people in bottles.
Wednesday, September 2, 2015
Frankenstein
Frankenstein...1931...unrated...70 minutes...starring Colin Clive, Mae Clarke, John Boles, and of course Boris Karloff...written by John L. Balderson (adapted from the Mary Shelley book)...directed by James Whale
I can think of no better way to restart this blog than with the phrase:"...It's alive, it's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!!!!!"
This selection is a movie to watch for so many reasons. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it's without flaws and is completely accessible to a modern audience. It's not. But the word "iconic" is also so highly appropriate in this case. If you want to see where the film history of Frankenstein starts, then taking the slightly-more-than-an-hour to see this Universal picture is mandatory. Do it, it's good for you! Yes, I'm saying that seeing the movie is the equivalent of eating your peas if you're a horror fan. But I'm right.
The film is a compressed, gentler version of the book designed to appeal to the audience of the day. The Monster isn't possessed of the intelligence that Adam has in the book, but Karloff's genius is being able to help convey the emotional truth behind the creature's existence. Without dialogue, his facial expression conveys pity, loneliness, anger, and frustration at a world that is mostly hostile to him. Honestly, having someone like Fritz (not Igor) in my face in the first days of my existence wouldn't make me trust in my environment all that well.
The makeup is remarkable to look at, the sets are a marvel, and the overall visual sense of this selection is something that's been copied so very often that seeing the origin is worthwhile. Despite what I expected, there were only two fatalities in the movie and I expected more. That's part of why I call it a gentler version of the story. I'd say three, but I know there are sequels so the fate of the Monster, while grim looking, isn't the end.
In terms of what I've been exposed to throughout my life, I find it hard to give it a high rating just on the historical value alone...though personally that makes "Frankenstein" a must-watch for me. But it's short, and there's some wonderful things to see...so if you have some time and want to see some history, then the seventy minutes here are well-spent.
My rating: Three and a half lightning-spewing machines out of five.
I can think of no better way to restart this blog than with the phrase:"...It's alive, it's moving, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!!!!!"
This selection is a movie to watch for so many reasons. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it's without flaws and is completely accessible to a modern audience. It's not. But the word "iconic" is also so highly appropriate in this case. If you want to see where the film history of Frankenstein starts, then taking the slightly-more-than-an-hour to see this Universal picture is mandatory. Do it, it's good for you! Yes, I'm saying that seeing the movie is the equivalent of eating your peas if you're a horror fan. But I'm right.
The film is a compressed, gentler version of the book designed to appeal to the audience of the day. The Monster isn't possessed of the intelligence that Adam has in the book, but Karloff's genius is being able to help convey the emotional truth behind the creature's existence. Without dialogue, his facial expression conveys pity, loneliness, anger, and frustration at a world that is mostly hostile to him. Honestly, having someone like Fritz (not Igor) in my face in the first days of my existence wouldn't make me trust in my environment all that well.
The makeup is remarkable to look at, the sets are a marvel, and the overall visual sense of this selection is something that's been copied so very often that seeing the origin is worthwhile. Despite what I expected, there were only two fatalities in the movie and I expected more. That's part of why I call it a gentler version of the story. I'd say three, but I know there are sequels so the fate of the Monster, while grim looking, isn't the end.
In terms of what I've been exposed to throughout my life, I find it hard to give it a high rating just on the historical value alone...though personally that makes "Frankenstein" a must-watch for me. But it's short, and there's some wonderful things to see...so if you have some time and want to see some history, then the seventy minutes here are well-spent.
My rating: Three and a half lightning-spewing machines out of five.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Not A Movie Review: Resurrection
That is not dead which can in storage lie,
And with strange aeons, old blogs won't die....
I've come back to see if I can restore life to the lifeless, as I have so many more movies to watch and talk about. We'll see if my Victor Von Frankenstein impression can do anything of permanence. Maybe this is a symbolic gesture of saying I'm not giving up on my writing or myself. Maybe I just want an excuse to see more of my favorite genre. I don't think it matters much; I am here now, so let's see where we go from here.
Before we do, though, a quick list of where we've been and the dates we were there:
Movie Title, Date Reviewed, Rating
13 Ghosts 04/19/2011 2
Alien 04/14/2011 4
All Souls Day: Dia.... 10/26/2010 1.5
An American Haunting 02/28/2011 1.5
An American Werewolf 1 11/01/2010 3.5
Apollo 18 02/16/2013 2
Are You Scared? 02/10/2011 1
Are You Scared 2 02/19/2011 0.5
Atom Age Vampire 09/16/2011 1.5
Bram Stoker's Dracula 04/21/2011 3.5
Candyman 10/19/2010 3.5
Cast A Deadly Spell 04/10/2011 3
Creepshow 03/29/2011 2.5
Curse Of The Demon 04/08/2011 4
Dead And Breakfast 10/20/2010 3
Drag Me To Hell 04/15/2011 3
Event Horizon 04/11/2011 3.5
Exorcist III 01/05/2011 3
Frailty 04/11/2011 2.5
Fright Night 03/03/2011 3.5
Ghosts Of Mars 04/29/2011 2
Grace 04/08/2011 3
House On Haunted Hill 10/15/2010 3
House On Haunted Hill '99 11/09/2010 2.5
In The Mouth Of Madness 10/29/2010 3.5
Insidious 09/25/2012 4.5
Jason X 04/13/2011 2
Jennifer's Body 03/05/2011 2.5
Ju-On (The Grudge) 10/18/2010 4
Killer Pad 10/16/2010 2
Legion 10/21/2010 2
Mary S..'s Frankenstein 04/15/2011 3.5
My Bloody Valentine (1981) 02/18/2011 2.5
Night Of ..Living Dead ('68) 10/22/2010 4.5
Session 9 11/03/2010 3
Silent Hill 10/15/2010 3.5
Silent Hill: Revelation 11/13/2012 2.5
Sinister 09/26/2012 3.5
Species 04/14/2011 2.5
Suck 02/26/2013 3
The Amityville Curse 11/17/2010 1.5
The Amityville Haunting 08/07/2013 ---
The Blair Witch Project 10/24/2010 3
The Blob (1958) 11/08/2010 3
The Blob (1988) 11/12/2010 2.5
The Conjuring 08/07/2013 4.5
The Devil's Rejects 09/04/2011 1
The Devil's Tomb 04/25/2011 2
The Exorcist 01/04/2011 5
The Fly (1986) 04/25/2011 3.5
The Fly II 04/29/2011 2.5
The Fog (1980) 02/08/2013 3
The Fog (2005) 02/08/2013 2
The Haunting Of Molly… 04/07/2011 2.5
The Lost Boys 03/03/2011 4
The Thing (1982) 02/26/2011 3
The Tingler 04/19/2011 2
The Tomb (Ligeia) 06/17/2011 2.5
The Wolfman (2010) 02/15/2011 2.5
Torture Garden 04/19/2011 2.5
So if you're willing, let's see what dark gems we might find on the road. I'm sure there will be plenty of slush as well, but gold is only found when it's looked for.
Edit: Apologies that the formatting didn't turn out like I wanted. I'll keep at it and see if I can coax it to get better.
And with strange aeons, old blogs won't die....
I've come back to see if I can restore life to the lifeless, as I have so many more movies to watch and talk about. We'll see if my Victor Von Frankenstein impression can do anything of permanence. Maybe this is a symbolic gesture of saying I'm not giving up on my writing or myself. Maybe I just want an excuse to see more of my favorite genre. I don't think it matters much; I am here now, so let's see where we go from here.
Before we do, though, a quick list of where we've been and the dates we were there:
Movie Title, Date Reviewed, Rating
13 Ghosts 04/19/2011 2
Alien 04/14/2011 4
All Souls Day: Dia.... 10/26/2010 1.5
An American Haunting 02/28/2011 1.5
An American Werewolf 1 11/01/2010 3.5
Apollo 18 02/16/2013 2
Are You Scared? 02/10/2011 1
Are You Scared 2 02/19/2011 0.5
Atom Age Vampire 09/16/2011 1.5
Bram Stoker's Dracula 04/21/2011 3.5
Candyman 10/19/2010 3.5
Cast A Deadly Spell 04/10/2011 3
Creepshow 03/29/2011 2.5
Curse Of The Demon 04/08/2011 4
Dead And Breakfast 10/20/2010 3
Drag Me To Hell 04/15/2011 3
Event Horizon 04/11/2011 3.5
Exorcist III 01/05/2011 3
Frailty 04/11/2011 2.5
Fright Night 03/03/2011 3.5
Ghosts Of Mars 04/29/2011 2
Grace 04/08/2011 3
House On Haunted Hill 10/15/2010 3
House On Haunted Hill '99 11/09/2010 2.5
In The Mouth Of Madness 10/29/2010 3.5
Insidious 09/25/2012 4.5
Jason X 04/13/2011 2
Jennifer's Body 03/05/2011 2.5
Ju-On (The Grudge) 10/18/2010 4
Killer Pad 10/16/2010 2
Legion 10/21/2010 2
Mary S..'s Frankenstein 04/15/2011 3.5
My Bloody Valentine (1981) 02/18/2011 2.5
Night Of ..Living Dead ('68) 10/22/2010 4.5
Session 9 11/03/2010 3
Silent Hill 10/15/2010 3.5
Silent Hill: Revelation 11/13/2012 2.5
Sinister 09/26/2012 3.5
Species 04/14/2011 2.5
Suck 02/26/2013 3
The Amityville Curse 11/17/2010 1.5
The Amityville Haunting 08/07/2013 ---
The Blair Witch Project 10/24/2010 3
The Blob (1958) 11/08/2010 3
The Blob (1988) 11/12/2010 2.5
The Conjuring 08/07/2013 4.5
The Devil's Rejects 09/04/2011 1
The Devil's Tomb 04/25/2011 2
The Exorcist 01/04/2011 5
The Fly (1986) 04/25/2011 3.5
The Fly II 04/29/2011 2.5
The Fog (1980) 02/08/2013 3
The Fog (2005) 02/08/2013 2
The Haunting Of Molly… 04/07/2011 2.5
The Lost Boys 03/03/2011 4
The Thing (1982) 02/26/2011 3
The Tingler 04/19/2011 2
The Tomb (Ligeia) 06/17/2011 2.5
The Wolfman (2010) 02/15/2011 2.5
Torture Garden 04/19/2011 2.5
So if you're willing, let's see what dark gems we might find on the road. I'm sure there will be plenty of slush as well, but gold is only found when it's looked for.
Edit: Apologies that the formatting didn't turn out like I wanted. I'll keep at it and see if I can coax it to get better.
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